https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our-son-lionels-back-at-school
"You may notice that Lionel produces a loud, barking cough at two-minute intervals for approximately 115 consecutive seconds. While we've asked him to muffle it in his elbow, or at least not run toward the nearest person and (it appears) intentionally aim at their mouth, his small body is too buffeted by the spasms to muster the requisite coordination."
